Fearless

When it comes to this topic it doesn't matter how much money you make or what clothes you wear. If I've learned anything this past summer, it's that life doesn't care who you are or where you're at when it throws something your way. The past three months I've gone through the biggest changes I've ever experienced. Needless to say, I'm tired, stressed, and fearful. As time has gone past since graduation, my experience as a "real" adult haven't been ideal. Through my car accident and becoming the sickest I've ever been, I can only grow. Through being the first to pick up everything to move to a new state, I can only become stronger. Through losing what I thought was the most critical part of my life I could only learn to be resilient.

When I hit a breaking point I thought to myself, "When did I become so fearful?" I never recall letting negative thoughts creep into my life as if they were true. Just because I am moving to a new state doesn't mean life won't happen for me. It only means I can become a mature adult faster. I look at other students my age and feel sorry for some.

This may be the scariest and loneliest point in my life so far. However, my growth, strength, and resilience is turning me into the adult I'm supposed to be faster. I guaranteed I am never going to apologize for being stressed out during this time in my life. I'm discovering who I am and that's hard. With that, I'll always praise God for the people in my life who will stick by me. Friends who accept me in all circumstances while having my back when I don't seem myself. Family who support me even when I'm angry, confused, and hurt. Writing, reading, and exercising more that makes me feel healed. Church family who constantly checks in on me and tells me keep my head high. More importantly, a God who knows I am worth it. Worth it to die for and work in and around my life. I'm going to be just fine because with these things in mind I'm fearless.
As of today, I don't worry anymore. I don't worry if I'll meet the right person. I don't worry about starting my life over in Colorado. There is nothing to worry about. So with no worry comes no stress and with no stress is no fear. I'm fearless. I'll embrace every moment of loneliness, hurt, joy, pain, and praise. On top of that, this past week I really learned that even one of the most important people in your life can let you down. Even when that happens, I won't let it stop me. I have to pick myself back up and keep going. What other choice do I have? I will never let life get me down; there's no reason for it!

I'm reminded of this: "So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy." - John 16:22. My final question is this--Is that all you got? That's nothing, life! Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life and I'm fearless.

To the fearless father, the strong step dad and the ones not related

Seven years ago at my dad's wedding

I remember a time when I was about eight my sister came to visit my dad and I. When we went out to dinner the balloon man at the restaurant made each of us a giant hat. However, that same night when we rented a movie my dad wore this hat into the Blockbuster. It was my first memory of my fearless father. From then on he would constantly tell jokes to strangers, come to my elementary school to do magic shows and do stand up numbers at the dinner table. The night before I went skydiving, my dad told me he wished he could be right there next to me as I took that leap. Through our rocky relationship, my dad always taught me to be fearless. With every worry I've ever had, my dad has comforted me by the fact if I were to fail or fall short that life goes on. He, most importantly, taught me that there's never anything to fear. I will always remember my dad saying that he daily goal is to make someone day and this positive, fearless attitude is what I'll keep close to my heart. 

Four months ago at my mom's wedding

My step dad is a man who I am proud to introduce to everyone in my life. His spirit for adventure and protective nature is just a few attributes that I admire about him. Most importantly, the way he loves God, his family and others makes me honored to be his step daughter.

One month ago at graduation

This picture shows just some out of the many male leaders at my church who have been a father type role model in my life. Each leader at my church has been such a powerful influence in my life. Supporting me by always looking out for my best interest, protecting me by hunting down any boy that broke my heart and guiding me by giving me the best advice in all areas of my life. I am really thankful for all the dads in my life.

When they know you by name it's time to get a punch card

It's like a game; the hunt to find new frozen yogurt places. Recently, I've found two recently opened establishments and they are delicious. Actually, they may bet some of my old favorites for the top spot. First, let me introduce you to Yogurt Kingdom.

Yogurt Kingdom has 14 delicious, unique flavors and a wide variety of toppings. So much so, that I went a little crazy and put most of the toppings on four different flavors. Oops!

 

I am so lucky my church family gets my strange obsession because one of my favorite leaders Jeannie took me to Yogurt Kingdom for the first time.

Meet my partner in crime when it comes to fro yo.

The coolest part about Yogurt Kingdom is the giant mural on the back wall. The owner's famous artist son painted this mind blowing picture of a yogurt kingdom. The fun part is there a couple hidden messages, animals, and names that represent the family.

This was my favorite part; Taylor and I found me in frog form. A blonde frog wearing a princess crown while reading "yogurt fitness" in the yogurt kingdom would be me if I were a animal.

Second, I've fallen in love with Yogurt Ranch.

I'll be completely honest, Yogurt Ranch is hands down the best tasting yogurt I've ever had. The family owned business is special because they treat and produce their yogurt differently and unlikely any other place I've ever gone too. Even though there is only six flavors at the moment they are well worth it. Their yogurt hits the spot. The toppings offered take the cake and I've had the best experiences with employees and owners. Their healthier yogurt is cheap for this budget girl as well

The best part about Yogurt Ranch is it's name. Every time I've brought up how much I love this place, whoever I'm talking with is repulsed by the name. On the other hand, I love it. The whole place is decorated with an western theme and they even have an horse that fro yo eaters of all ages can ride on. It's fro yo and fun mixed into one.

Check out these fabulous frozen yogurt places and any others that I find here in Arizona.

A few of my favorite things: Spring Break Edition

1. Longboarding Accidents I love longboarding. It's my sport right next to shopping and it's my form of exercise. However, what I love more than longboarding is longboarding accidents. The first time I went riding down a hill I got a huge bump in the middle of my forehead when I fell. This didn't stop me. Years later I still take my board out everyday. I am lucky cause one of my best friends is willing to go to new places to longboard with me. We were riding up a hill in a quiet neighborhood in a red mountain district when I tripped and face planted on the street over nothing. I love my battle scars but the story of how I fall over nothing is even better. I should most likely take it easy on the hills till after my mom's wedding.
2. Teen Vogue and Sex& The City In the midst of my super busy week I set aside a day just to be overly lazy. I dedicated this PJ day to my two loves; fashion&Carrie Bradshaw. I swear Sex and the City is the only movie and show I can watch over and over again while marking up the latest issue of my favorite magazine.
3. Glitter Cupcakes Thankfully, I have super awesome leaders at my church who introduce me to glitter cupcakes. These red velvet cupcakes are full of sparkle and fun. I may love them more then regular cupcakes cause everyone deserves a little shine in their lives.
4. Taco Tuesday  Come to think of it, I have a ton of great leaders at church who feed me. My mom was talking the other night saying that she is gratefully for Jackie, Lori, and Jeannie always making sure I am never starving. However, Tuesdays are my favorite. Jeannie has the annual taco Tuesday and since I am usually the only that comes I never turn down seconds.
5. Grasshopper Pie One of the many reasons why I miss working at Village Inn is the seasonal Mint Brownie Blast pie. It's smooth, sweet, and perfect. Perfect in the fact that I had a piece on St. Patricks Day. Yes, my desserts correspond with holidays. Don't hate.
6. Lori's House Dang, I love my church moms. I'm starting to realize how much I hang out (or crash) at their houses. This is why when I woke up Thursday morning and Lori texted me to come over I was so stoked. I love hanging out with this family because they never cease to be more than church leaders in my life. Like usual, Amanda made her homemade apple pie while Lori, Mel, and I talked the night aways. The Hutchins are one of my favorite family.
7. Girls Out Night The church hosted a Girl Night Out event where I basically eat my weight in popcorn. Otherwise, I had the greatest time with some of the cutest girls in the high school ministry.


I officially declare Spring Break 2011 the best one I've ever had. With Monday slowly approaching I realize how much little time I have left in High School. As God is moving and working the most in these moments my emotions are running wild. With this, I keep calm with the lyrics of one my favorite songs. "Oh this is going to be the good life...sometimes there's airplanes I can't jump out but please tell me whats there to complain about." Honestly, my head has not stopped spinning in the last week and as much as I want to call out for help I know in my heart this change is good. As much as I don't want the things that are happening to happen moving forward is a natural direction for a Christian. With the next couple months being the craziest I put three important quotes on the front of my planner.
"To get something you never had you have to do something you never did."
"When God takes something from your grasp He's not punishing you but merely opening your hands to receive something better."
"The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

Eight years in counting

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16 is the most famous Bible verse ever. It's on posters, quoted in all regards, and even featured on the bottom of Forever 21 bags. This verse means so much more to me than words that are constantly reprinted. Not only is it the verse that marks my faith but it marks when I was baptized. On March 16th I was baptized in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. This date is so important to me because it's the anniversary of the relationship I know is the most beautiful. This March 16th will be my eight year anniversary (too bad Hallmark doesn't make cards that say 'hey congrats on loving Jesus')  I can hardly believe just eight short years ago I began the most incredible journey. Having a personal relationship with Jesus is the reason I hold this date so dear to me. I look back on the little girl I was when I was baptized in the old Central Christian building and think how much has changed since then. Since then, Central opened two more campus and remodel the mesa building while I went through several pastor changes in my youth ministry. Along with that, my relationships with my church family grew and I gained never ending support system. Through it all, the consuming, graceful love from Jesus is still the same it was eight years ago. Everyday I fail, God still loves. Everyday I live with my issues, God still shines. Everyday I wake just to praise and glorify a truly amazing God. I pray that each day that turns into each year the love God overflows can be shown in my actions, words, and attitude in daily life. I look back to my life with Jesus and how I wouldn't trade anything for being in Him arms. Thankful doesn't begin to explain my gratitude to my God, his perfect plan, and the small moments where he has taught me the most. To me, the past eight years were just the beginning. The beginning of discovering the world He created. The beginning of a Acts 29 ministry. The beginning of a deep, satisfying relationship. Here is to the next eight and the years to follow that. "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." Ephesians 3:20

A few of my favorite things

1. Going off Campus As seniors we receive the special privilege of going off campus for lunch. During my fall semester, I hardly ever took advantage of this. Now I try to make it off campus everyday. This and going to spouts for the sandwich special has become one of my new favorites.

2. Popsicles I totally forgot how much I love Popsicles till one of the editors brought a box to yearbook one day. The coolness of a yummy Popsicle is truly unbeatable. It was the best part of my day when the staffers compared the change of color on their tongues.

3. When other people fall I have been known to fall, trip, and stumble from time to time so it's refreshing when my follow clumsy friends take the big fall to the ground. It's nice not to be the only one who trips over nothing while simply walking.

4. Church camp "This one time at church camp.." now that that's out of the way. I love church camp, I compare it to family vacations. This year was my last one and it was one of the best. It was most likely the most calm weekend I've ever had at camp and it was also the perfect get away from the craziness in my life at the moment. It was also strange to think that just four short years ago I was afraid to get into the van to go to my very, first camp. As camp came to a close, it made me more and more sad to know it was my last camp ever. Hopefully, I will be running one of those camps sometime soon.

5. Mini me Meet one of my best friend's little sister, Kendall. I swear this cool kid is trying to be the next Melanie. When I went over to Kaylie's house for our usual Gossip Girl night her sister only did something if I did, had soda if I had soda, and desperately wanted to sit next to me during diner. She actually only put on her PJ's when she saw I had mine on as well. Yes, it's always nice to be admired and copied.

6. Best friend time My best friend Dahlya has a history of being kinda busy. Whether it's travel, school, or auditions Dahlya has a full load. For this reason, when she has a free moment for best friend time I take it. She makes my days better and brighter so spending time with her is a must. Honestly, these past couple weeks she has been the best possible friend ever and every time I spend even a ounce of time with her I become more thankful for her presence in my daily life.

7. Dance parties Every year at church camp we throw a dance party. Last year, it was 80s themed and this year was neon. It got a little crazy and the best part was at the end when all the seniors got into a huge huddle to spend the last song together. My youth group is cool.

Looking back I'm not sure where the past two weeks have gone. I was thinking about it earlier today and I had a lot of fun but my business has consumed me to the point where I don't remember falling asleep. But, I wouldn't trade my life for anything. I was reading my journal the other night and I came across a paragraph I wrote on December 19, 2010, "I feel so lucky sometimes. Even when I'm really stressed I am still loved by God, I still love others, and I am still loved by others. Even when I have a lot of problems going on I am still forgiven. I have faith." This still rings true in my life today. As my best friend once said to me, "Life is too short to be sad about anything."

Baby, it's cold outside

 Actually it wasn't that cold. Last weekend, my church family and I took a trip to Prescott. In years past when I went on those retreats it was freezing. Expect, this year, it was beautiful, cool and bearable. Thankfully, I didn't need to pull out the snow coat for my last winter camp. Although, the long sleeved shirt and wearing socked with my toms came in handy. When dressing for colder weather keep the colors simple while adding pieces with patterns. Take note of how the pink shirt goes with all the other colors; blue, grey, yellow. A simple color like this one can pull all sorts of other colors into a outfit and be helpful when adding floral sunglasses. By the way I got the shirt for only five dollars! Who knew winter clothes could be so cheap? Well winter in Arizona.

Outfit breakdown: Jeans-Kohl's Shirt-Old Navy Gloves-Target Scarf-Target Shoes- Toms Coat-Forever 21 Shades- Target

The fashion tradition that almost wasn't a tradition

Every year my church holds a winter camp that I've always looked forward to. The cold weather, spending the entire weekend with church family, and the amazing memories have made winter camp one of my favorites. But, in the past four years, I've had a tradition that's set winter camp aside from any other church event. Since freshman year, I've bought a special fashion piece that no one else has and I wear it just to camp. My first year I got a cherry red rain coat while during my sophomore year I brought Victorian black and white patterned boots. Last year my church decided to have a day dedicated to skiing so I wore a yellow snow hat. Yes, every camp I had my fashion tradition and each year other students and leaders tell me how cute they think my pieces are. However, the unthinkable happened. While I started packing for my last winter camp I forgot to find my unforgettable fashion piece. In years past either I've stumbled upon, saw in a issue of teen vogue, or found in a store my wearable item. With senior year craziness and not having any money I completely forgot to keep my eyes open for my last chance to show off my fashion addiction. To add to my trouble I realized my dilemma the day I was suppose to leave for camp.

For this reason, thirty minutes before I had to be at church I went shopping. Thankfully, my speedy shopper skills kicked in and I shopped at four different stores within twenty minutes. Unfortunately, I couldn't find anything that was good enough to be the last item I would ever bring to camp. As I was about to give up and tears were swelling up in my eyes I looked over at a row of crazy ribbons at Micheal's. There it was; a bright polka dotted bow. Ironically, at camp this year we were having a neon dance party and this ribbon would be the perfect addition to my crazy outfit. As fast as I could, I may have pushed some old ladies aside, I bought the ribbon, ran to Target and got a hot pink headband to attach. At camp I assembled the two together and like magic I had the perfect headband. The last minute piece ended up being a huge success and the neon dance party was so much fun. Even though it was my last winter camp I look back and think how those camps whether I was wearing boots or a red rain coast was some of the best times of my life. My trips to camp may be over but hopefully one day I will be running those events.

Coat: Walmart

Rain boots: Online

Hat: Target

Headband: Micheal's and Target